The following is from Brian’s sister Ronda McGowan

“Little Brother, I hurt from missing you so badly. The pain is much worse because you called for help and got a bullet instead. You were unarmed, talking to your therapist, doing better… and then Eugene Police Department rolled an armored vehicle onto your front lawn, placed snipers on rooftops, triggering the very thing you were calling to get help for. Our country failed you, but I won’t. I’m going to keep fighting. I love you so much. I miss you so much.”


(click on images to enlarge)

The Early Years


The Military Years


Later Years And Family Memorial Photos


3 thoughts on “PHOTOS & LETTERS

  • I don’t know why I’m doing this. I stay brave all the time about my baby brother’s killing, his untimely death.
    Yesterday I was brave again as we placed his 5th wheel in the park at Winchester Bay. Chin up, helping others through it. Helping my Dad to process and ease his grief (which half of my family gives me hell for, but that’s another story), by preparing to step up, get ready and run the boat for the fishing season. I absolutely know this is what my brother would want.
    Today I was brave again as we put his boat, Stress Relief that he so loved and made him so happy into the water. I’m not kidding when I say a hush fell over the docks as we passed.
    Tonight I’m trying to find a picture of him for the entryway that I can water color and frame.
    I began to weep uncontrollably, got out of bed so as not to disturb my sleeping husband. I’m sitting here shaking, crying, hurting that I wasn’t there for him that day as I had been so many other times when he needed me. One day and he’s gone forever. It just really sucks. He was literally one of the nicest people I knew so kind, so funny. His ghost holds onto Winchester Bay like the waves…

  • Brenda Tuttle Pierce: Brian would be very proud of you! It does suck. Its hard to go there. I want to stop in, say hi, go rig poles, clean up the cabin, get ice, learn about the boat and fishing, drive while he fishes and see that huge smile and the high 5’s when someone lands a fish, have a drink at Double D’s, listen to his crazy dating stories, laugh about Army life and worry about him. My phone isnt ringing, the texts have stopped, I dont get the “Hey Brenda, it Brian…” voice messages checking in on me. I miss my friend as a new season starts without him. He was so excited about getting down here again. It isnt fair. He did his time to this country and sacrificed so much…he just wanted some peace and to live and be happy and enjoy life. He didnt get the time he deserved. I find myself remembering a moment, a joke or something and wondering, “hows Brian?” And then I remember I cant call. He’s not here. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh and sometimes I yell at him…but there is one constant: Im thankful to have known him. He taught me a lot and still does even though his absence is clearly felt. He made a difference in a lot of lives. If I had a brother I’d want him to be like Brian in lots of ways…but mostly brave. I want to be brave like he was. You must be a lot like him Ronda. You are making it happen and I know its exactly what he would want. He’s probably so excited, watching you proudly, anticipating the “fish on!”

  • This could happen to any of us… I support Brian’s bill! It’s time to put a stop to this madness! I’m afraid that this will happen to my son Steven. He is mentally ill, officers and the State of Oregon would rather shoot him instead of get help for mentally ill people. Oregon has no help and there are so many on the street…. I don’t understand, I have begged and begged for help… Hat is it going to take to hold this state responsible for a senseless death. No, you would rather shove it under the rug until next time…. Officer Killium would be alive today if there were help and places to help people…

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